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About Varied / Student lokiOther/United States Group :iconcrona-fan-club: Crona-Fan-Club
Crona lovers~
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Deviant for 4 Years
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bits the prototype by cats50 bits the prototype :iconcats50:cats50 0 0 char demurred by cats50 char demurred :iconcats50:cats50 2 0 flap flap by cats50 flap flap :iconcats50:cats50 1 2 OFF by cats50 OFF :iconcats50:cats50 5 43 scream by cats50 scream :iconcats50:cats50 4 0 keep in mind by cats50 keep in mind :iconcats50:cats50 5 0 . by cats50 . :iconcats50:cats50 4 0 why by cats50 why :iconcats50:cats50 2 4 marsh by cats50 marsh :iconcats50:cats50 0 0 the eyes by cats50 the eyes :iconcats50:cats50 0 0 yep by cats50 yep :iconcats50:cats50 2 0 .... by cats50 .... :iconcats50:cats50 1 0 old doodle by cats50 old doodle :iconcats50:cats50 0 0 candy redesign by cats50 candy redesign :iconcats50:cats50 0 0 redraws by cats50 redraws :iconcats50:cats50 0 0 percher by cats50 percher :iconcats50:cats50 0 0
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Devious Journal Entry:yakuza::work::wizardhat::tunes::tombstone::tea::stupid::stfu::star-half::sprint:[Death][Skull and Crossbones][Rose][Reading][Yummy pie!][Phae][OMG!][I'm on fire!][Nuu][Noes!][Ninja Plot!][Ninja... slip away... with hot dog.][Ninja dart][Ninja Battle!][Music][Meow :3][Do not try and bend the spoon ...][lolly and his coffee][Laughing my ass off!][Have your cake and eat it too][mmmm books...][Fear the katana!][Jester][Ignore][Hypermind][Heartbreaker][Headbang!]+[Slam Head On Table]=[Splitting Headache!][Guns dont kill people; People kill people!][Stabbed with a Fork!][Herr Llama Emperor][Flirtatious][United States of America][Crazy][Milk, which goes quite well with cookies][Cookie][Monitor][Couch][EVIL Laughter!][Deviator][Coffee Machine][Coffeecup][Donut][chix0r is a minx0r][Chainsaw][Fuzzydemon][Boing! Boing!]:iconbunnimation::icondoctordanceplz::iconrightyouareplz::icondoctorthumbsupplz::iconbowlplz::iconphantomplz::iconpoemdepressionplz::iconsulkplz::iconcronablinkplz::iconpweaseplz::iconkidyesplz::iconnotsymmetricalplz::iconshinigami-samaplz::iconpattythompsonplz::iconsillypattyplz::iconshinigamilaplz::iconkidteheplz::iconpunchkidplz::iconDTKplz::iconsymmetricalkidplz::iconkiddeathstareplz::iconsymmetricalplz::iconblackstarcuteeyesplz::iconrunningcronaplz::iconcrazycronaplz::iconscaredcronaplz::ico
Devious Journal Entry:iconapplepimp1plz::iconapplepimp2plz:
:iconpinkieapproved1plz::iconpinkieapproved2plz::iconrainbowdashnodplz:
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:iconjeffisstartledplz:OuO haaiiii jeeef.:iconjeffisnothappyplz::iconsaysplz:GTFO!:iconbenicecreamplz::iconsnapedafuqplz::iconben-plz::iconjeffwthplz::iconbenseesplz::iconvillagerplz::iconcreepyvillagerplz::iconimfabulousplz::iconrussianpwnageplz::icontuzkipwnageplz::icononionamericaplz::iconcielwtfamiseeingplz::iconcelestiawthplz::iconslendermanplz::icontherakeplz::iconrakeragefaceplz::iconfrolloplz::iconfealsplz::iconjeffwhyplz::iconsplendormanplz::iconsplendyragefaceplz::iconbleedrainbowplz::iconpinkiepielaughplz::iconlazypoolplz::iconimonaboatplz::icondramaticplz::iconcreepplz::iconspitfireplz::iconfluttershycantplz::icontwifoiledagainplz::iconepicstareplz::icontuzkiheadbangplz::iconhnnnngplz::icongunfaceplz::iconevilgrin2plz::iconshedplz::iconlolnopeplz::iconslendermingplz::iconelrubiusrollplz::iconmikuplz::iconrinkagaminep

Devious Journal Entry:icondragonlaplz: :iconhowaboutnoplz::iconbummy1::iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy2::iconbummy3::iconbummy3: 
:icontrixieseestooplz::icontrolllolplz::iconlachoirplz::icondiscordnotamusedplz:
:iconkiddpokeplz::iconpinkiepiecupcakesplz::iconSnowboardkids-Linda:...:iconrunforlifeplz::iconsmtrynormal::iconnoomibernadotte::icondivaplz::iconepicstareplz::iconsmtrycookie::icondeathstareplz::iconexcaliburFOOLplz::iconsaysplz:FOOOOLS!!!:iconexcaliburplz::iconexcaliburfaceplz::iconkiddnowantplz::iconexcalibur::iconbstarnowantplz::iconexcaliburplz::iconexcaliburfaceplz::iconarigatouplz::icononiononionplz::iconoldschoolownedplz::iconcannotevenplz::iconscaredplz::icondignitylaughplz::iconbegplz::iconorzplz::icongameaddictplz::icondesperateplz::iconrejectedplz::iconlalalaplz::iconomgwtfbbqplz::iconinuloveplz::iconmakasoulwtfplz::iconmakachopplz::icontastycronaplz::iconcronahugplz::iconcronatwitchplz::iconcronaconfusionplz::iconcantdealwithitplz::iconinjuredcronaplz::iconblackbloodchronaplz::ic

Devious Journal Entry
What Genre Of Manga Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

Who Would Be Your Mare Of Honor?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime
:thumb365507179::thumb365102211::thumb365102211::thumb365102211:Normal? by xNillowxWhen no-one's looking. by LetsSaveTheUniverse:iconlemongrab::iconvioletrose1plz::iconvioletrose2plz::iconvioletrose3plz::iconrose1plz

Devious Journal Entry:iconmushroomcloudplz::iconburningplz::icondemonicbarneyplz:
:icontuxedoplz::iconmonroeplz:
:iconpinkiebounce1plz::iconpinkiebounce2plz:
:iconpinkiebounce3plz::iconpinkiebounce4plz::iconwasplz::iconhereplz::iconfoxXDplz::iconsweatplz:
:iconthisplz::iconisplz::iconrainbow-splz::iconrainbow-oplz::iconclearplz::iconrainbow-splz::iconrainbow-pplz::iconrainbow-aplz::iconrainbow-rplz::iconrainbow-tplz::iconrainbow-aplz::iconrainbow-exclamation:

:iconsolemnlyplz::iconuptonogoodplz::iconNoomiBernadotte::iconsmtryblush:Dyslexia Stamp by quacklingsavatarsStamp Addiction Stamp by Fullmetal-PhantomThis Stamp doesn't work... by Busiris:thumb371653329:The gladiator by SirvanaRachana:thumb257607736:The gladiator by SirvanaRachana

What Is Your L

Devious Journal Entry
What Adventure Time Character Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

What Amnesia Character Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

What Xiaolin Showdown Character Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com:

Devious Journal Entry
What Soul Eater Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

What Soul Eater Character Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime
UMM...I MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY INSANE...
What Is Your Level Of Sanity?
Hosted By theOtaku.com:

the icon clusters have me moved to theses places

Commissions

other
flowers skeletons or just random people
smols
smols are anyone for anything
sitting
sitting person commissions are basically anyONE not from a show(cartoons,anime,nightmares,ect)

Favourites

Drunk Mae by comersean Drunk Mae :iconcomersean:comersean 13 1 Welcome back- [Bendy and the Ink Machine] by Akito0405 Welcome back- [Bendy and the Ink Machine] :iconakito0405:Akito0405 924 18 BendyAndTheInkMachine - Cartoon heart [SPEEDPAINT] by Akito0405 BendyAndTheInkMachine - Cartoon heart [SPEEDPAINT] :iconakito0405:Akito0405 814 39 Nerf This! coloured by Farisato Nerf This! coloured :iconfarisato:Farisato 184 20 I'm sorry (Zootopia Fanart) 7 by Neytirix I'm sorry (Zootopia Fanart) 7 :iconneytirix:Neytirix 1,598 149 Draconic: Madonna and Child by dolphinabottle Draconic: Madonna and Child :icondolphinabottle:dolphinabottle 101 9 Furred Dragon by dolphinabottle Furred Dragon :icondolphinabottle:dolphinabottle 55 7 furred dragon by pyrokeet furred dragon :iconpyrokeet:pyrokeet 39 2 Freddy Fazbear V2 by Bonniefnaf258 Freddy Fazbear V2 :iconbonniefnaf258:Bonniefnaf258 3 2 Congenital Carrion #  Easter Bunny by evekomix Congenital Carrion # Easter Bunny :iconevekomix:evekomix 232 23 Congenital Carrion# Homeless by evekomix Congenital Carrion# Homeless :iconevekomix:evekomix 100 9 White by Ghosticalz White :iconghosticalz:Ghosticalz 250 5 Black by Ghosticalz Black :iconghosticalz:Ghosticalz 304 10 Felinia: Page 142 by Rainy-bleu Felinia: Page 142 :iconrainy-bleu:Rainy-bleu 1,217 285 Felinia: Page 141 by Rainy-bleu Felinia: Page 141 :iconrainy-bleu:Rainy-bleu 1,729 667 Felinia: Page 139 by Rainy-bleu Felinia: Page 139 :iconrainy-bleu:Rainy-bleu 1,444 599
So What? :Stamp: by Stamps-For-You

/.......\>--◖ * rolls into tardis* (this dalek is special,and his name is don)
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:iconsaysplz:-I AWAIT YOUR COMMAND-

No thnx 4 v fave plz by prosaix When no-one's looking. by LetsSaveTheUniverse:thumb266647410: the rum is gone... by soulshinigami Jack Sparrow Stamp by RogueLottie Captain Jack Sparrow stamp by RedSarine ARR by SparklyDest Stamp: A computer once... by Northern33 Original Character Personality by Stamp221 Plan around Doctor Who stamp by LetsSaveTheUniverse:thumb161052484: Do. Not. Blink. - stamp by LetsSaveTheUniverse He's A Pirate by azianwolfdoll He's A Pirate by azianwolfdoll Jack Stamp by Chanjar1 WUT Stamp by Drake1 Jack Fell. by WB-Equine-Art master stamp by ryazaku Jack Sparrow Stamp by RogueLottie Is That it? by Sammsy Jar of Dirt Stamp by hatenaki-yume:thumb161052484: Disney Stamp: Haters Gonna Hate by XxoOjunefoxOoxX My peanut stamp by lil-richo Jack Sparrow -eh stamp by Raephen Jack Fell. by WB-Equine-Art Jack Fell. by WB-Equine-Art Jack Sparrow Stamp by Sirquo-Stamps Why is the rum Gone? by Sammsy Stamp-o-holic by ARTic-Weather I got a jar of dirt stamp by Raephen:thumb163542771: How far should 'tolerance' go? by XxDiaLinnxX Thoughts Stamp by PUNURMiO master stamp by ryazaku: BUTTON: Stop begging for stuff by Emotikonz BUTTON: Stop begging for stuff by Emotikonz Manly tears by Sophalone Bouncing Marshmallow Free Icon by HeadyMcDodd:thumb158129014: stein stamp by pali-chan Kuroshitsuji Stamp by AnDarkPrincess Kuroshitsuji Sebastian Stamp by JackdawStamps Kuro: Grell stamp by Kaze-yo Kuroshitsuji Sebastian Stamp by JackdawStamps The Doctor And His Balloon by PandacobainTM:thumb103278863: Sleep button stamp by vampireintherain I am a Gryffindor and I'm proud stamp by PrincessQueen123 Japanese Fan Stamp by PrincessQueen123 I like Branches by misanthrope-13 What I really want is this by EnderWomanMC Req - Dead Space by Haters-Gonna-Hate-Me I Draw For.. -STAMP- by HoneyAppleNinja Music is my life by zeddy88 Character Abuse by StamPorMole Protected by Dragons stamp by purgatori Fantasy is my Reality stamp by purgatori I Love The Rain by Wearwolfaa I Respect All Art Stamp Revamp by Sinister-Starfeesh I draw on bed by prosaix DA Stamp - So Many Ideas... by phantompanther I love black stamp by violetsteel stare in my fridge stamp. by CitrusEcstasy---x So Many Books by LaPurr Background Music by Skylark-93 Stamp: I'm not weird by Roxy317 STAMP: Glasses by Emotikonz Addicted To Music - Stamp by JWiesner Stamp - I Heart Dragons by ValkAngie Original Characters Stamp by nitchzombie Wishful Thinking by whispwill people allergy stamp - clean by tirsden So Many Books by LaPurr Character Stamp by Arpie

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loki
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Activity


Today i was called a tiny person.... Thanks old jacket for making me look tinier than i already am
char demurred
Monster inspired by the word "demur". Enjoys baking,knitting,and gardening.
Loading...
At college i had a lab fee to pay but i didnt know where to go. So i stopped a woman and tried to ask her if she knew where lab fees were paid
Now, this woman signed. And she explained that she was hard of hearing. Every sign she signed was so distantly familiar to me but since the last time i signed was when i was a little kid who didnt even talk yet, it was familiar but i couldn't get them. She of course could speak too so she could communicate to me
But i couldn't communicate with her. ive never had a loud speaking voice although i could put on voices that that were loud and unfortunately painful so my natural voice, being hard to hear normally, was too low for this woman to hear. And due to a minor speach impediment she couldn't read my lips. I could tell she was trying and i felt so bad because im so verbally different than most and i have difficulty talking and i usually rely on another to communicate for me and i had no one and she could communicate allot clearer that i could so all i could do was try to tell her it was fine and thanks and that ill just try to get help later and i just ended up ultimately resorting to my personal sign language. The odd almost nonsensical signing i do around those i know to get across better what im saying. Because thats all i COULD do. My weird nonsense  signs. My personal private language. But luckily i managed to get across what i was trying to say. I realized i cant communicate on my own today and that i need someone to physically talk for me because of my stupid voice and my fucking anxiety.  Another slap in the face reminder i can literally never be fully independent in life. Another "hey go fuck yourself" from life. Yet another thing wrong and broken about me and i hate it. I hate myself. Not in the normal sense. In the "i want to function properly and not worry about all my disorders and syndromes and health problems and mental issues and permanent damages physical and phyological" way of i hate myself
I dont WANT to be the way that i am
I dont WANT shopping to forever be a difficult thing for me
I dont WANT having a conversation with someone to be wrought with difficulty
I just want to function
Not even well i just want to be able to  be around people and not potentially need help from some stranger because I am unable to do something by myself. I want to function.  I dont want to need someone to help me communicate for the rest of my life i dont want to need someone to help care for my daily i just want to exist

Comments


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:iconbluelight439:
BlueLight439 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
i know this question is random af but did you have a dog before?
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:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2017  Student General Artist
Yes
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:iconbluelight439:
BlueLight439 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
did he/she run away?
Reply
:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2017  Student General Artist
No
Hes still a doofus here
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(1 Reply)
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:iconakitku:
akitku Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Many thanks for the fav! :)
Reply
:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  Student General Artist
...
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:icontaltharius:
Taltharius Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2016
You haven't been around in quite some time, it seems. Is everything alright?
Reply
:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2016  Student General Artist
Other than a bit of depression and my life being an out of control mess things are fine.
Reply
:icontaltharius:
Taltharius Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2016
I can relate to going through depression, despite no longer having it, myself.
Reply
:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2016  Student General Artist
Ive been trying to deal with my depression for a while its just allot harder to deal with things lately is all
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcapnnero:
CapnNero Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you for watching :)
Reply
:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016  Student General Artist
...
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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the favorite :)
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:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Student General Artist
...
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:iconjski363:
jski363 Featured By Owner May 6, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for watching and fav
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:iconcats50:
cats50 Featured By Owner May 6, 2016  Student General Artist
...
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:iconjski363:
jski363 Featured By Owner May 6, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
...?
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